The Year That Was - 2018
Time for some it flies, for others it drags. For me, this year it was mostly the former.
I didn’t make any resolutions this year. Left such long ago. I couldn’t keep up with them. Resolutions with an expiry date of barely a few days doesn’t serve any purpose. Rather it was mostly about wandering and coming upon opportunities. The decisions I took were all that made the difference and unlike the previous years, I can end this year with a smile and in high spirits.
Thus, here are a few moments from my 2018 when I felt happy, when I felt proud and when I felt grateful.
January 2018
Tata Crucible.
Winning my first major national level quiz at Chandigarh with RD. There couldn’t have been a better way to start 2018. To those who know me, would very well attribute to the fact that I sulk a bit too often, take in failures too much to my heart. It wouldn’t do well to extrapolate much about it here. Truth be told, I was never confident of winning in Chandigarh. I had enough confidence to make it to the final 8 and perhaps with a bit of luck getting the runners up position. Pressing the buzzer at the very last question and speaking out the correct answer and getting the first position is something I still dream about – How did I do it?
That day I realized two things – I am not that worthless that I assume myself to be and things I wish do come to me, they just take time.
March 2018
Another Crucible win. Delhi zonals. We qualified for the Nationals.
Relishing in the comforts of the Tajness at Vivanta by Taj we continued our winning streak. Now, that I type this it really feels surreal. Basking in the pride and happiness, those were some of the best few hours. Even missing my bus to Patiala could not do anything to diminish my spirits.
April 2018
I was now in Bombay for the Finals of Crucible. Although we did not win, to me it would always be the best of times. The time I spent in Bombay visiting, exploring, eating and relaxing to almost missing my flight would be some of the funniest and amazing moments so far. I might be exaggerating but 13th and 14th April, 2018 needs exaggeration.
One line from my college’s Twitter account surmises my feelings – We didn’t win the prize but we won hearts.
August 2018
There are some people who might come in briefly into our lives but has a profound effect on us. For me, it would be the one teacher who believed in me when none would and understood me when others wouldn’t. She was like a guardian figure to me. With time, I lost touch until now. Talking to her after 5 years was like a breath of fresh air. I might have never talked to someone for than 3 minutes but with her it was more than an hour. Within that hour I realized what I missed and as always, she believed in a Soham who had stopped believing in himself. Teachers like her make schools and people like me so much better.
September 2018
When I was young, I used to get birthday cards and how excited and thrilled I was to open them and read them. All these years my love for them is there. I now use emails and though in some sense it brings the joy of writing, none can surpass handwritten letters.
So, I wrote and sent a letter and a birthday card. Sending it all the way to United Kingdom to a friend who might have appreciated it. I never knew that writing an actual letter could be so tough! What to write when people are already in touch over social media? After 2 failed tries and reading over numerous letters online, I did it. I felt much ecstatic that I wanted to write to everyone I knew. Reality dawned soon and I abandoned my wishful dream.
This month also saw me maintaining a diary. Something which I have wanted to do for long. Writing about my daily life – the good, the bad, the ugly and sometimes nothing at all helped me to speak out about things which I couldn’t with anybody. My secrets, my joys, my tears are all there. My diary sees the best and the worst of me away from the prying eyes of the world and not judging me and this has made me much lighter and happier.
October 2018
Living so far from home, I missed one thing dearly – Pujo. The past 2 years I was away from the exuberance of this festival; missing it dearly and yearning to be there with all my heart. But couldn’t. I had almost forgotten what it was during the Pujo and this forgetting made the pain much easier. This year though away from home I saw Pujo albeit in a small way in Chandigarh which bridged a huge chasm in my heart. The fantastic ambiance, the sounds of the dhaks, Durga thakur and the smell of begunis and fish cutlets evoked in me the sweet memories of home.
December 2018
Lately, I have taken a revulsion towards social media. I did not have the same urge to be connected as was the urge to be disconnected. The overload of information and the desire of people to depict something which they are not, irritated me, disillusioned me. At the start of this year, I disabled notifications from WhatsApp. I did not login to Facebook at all this year and Twitter had already blocked my account for a few months then reinstated. But now, I do not have the same excitement to login to view what’s up with the world.
So, I deleted my Instagram account permanently. Twitter and Facebook will follow. This post is the last to be shared over there.
One good thing came out of all this. Conversations with me are interesting. Not knowing what people are up to through social media, my reactions and my surprises are genuine. I have become a better listener and my life has become much calmer and happier and not interrupted by notifications. I might be missing a lot on my friends but this also showed who really wants to stay in touch with me. I found much more time for reading and blogging than last year. Being disconnected has an exquisite charm. I discovered it now.
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